PART ONE
One of the last things I said was about having to make a 911 call for the first time ever that scared me half to death. Well I'm ready to elaborate on that a bit. It was a normal day for us on Friday, September 27, 2013. We both had work that had come and gone. As we are home I had dinner in the crock pot, in which i was very excited about. I was getting Calvin situated with his dinner and had asked Steven to pull apart the meat in the crock pot so we could have dinner ourselves. We were all fine doing our thing and then Steven mentioned he didn't feel good at all and needed to go sit down for a minute. I go to finish prepping the meat for dinner and had this feeling that I needed to go check on him in the other room. I come to the living room to find my husband slouched in the chair like dead body weight with his eyes closed. My heart stopped for a second then started beating really fast as I panicly asked him if he was OK. No response. "Steven?!" he then starts to open his eyes and I calm down a bit and ask him if he was OK. He tells me that he didn't feel very good still and I asked if he was hungry and he said not really I'm going to go lay down on the bed for a little bit I feel kind of sick. So he gets up and moves to our bedroom and I go about my business getting Calvin cleaned up from dinner and making a plate for myself. I sit down to eat but then have this urgent feeling to check on Steven again. I go into the room to him laying perpendicular to the way you normally lay on the bed (which is typical when he goes to take a cat nap) I ask him how he was doing and if he was feeling any better. No response. *I'm thinking he must have really fallen asleep* I shake his back as his face was in the bed almost and facing the pillows and ask him Steven are you OK? nothing. *my heart starts racing* Steven! He slowly comes to and says "huh.." "Are you OK?! are you hungry yet?" an even longer delayed response than before he mumbles something I cant understand. *this whole time my heart is pounding a million times a minute and he doesn't move one inch of his body* I stand there next to the bed no clue what is going on. I keep trying to talk to him to get him to talk. I finally ask him if he can move his body. His responses were mumbled if nothing at all. He finally gets out "give me a minute" as he tries to move his body I see nothing happen at all. I immediately call my mom as I'm thinking he is maybe having a seizure or had a seizure or one was about to happen. He had tons of drool coming from his mouth, he felt hot but he always does..after a few short minutes on the phone with my mom fighting back tears and the panic in my voice she tells me the words I had in my head but didn't want to believe it. Call 911. I've never called 911 I thought. Why is this happening. maybe I can get him to get up and make it to the car. I try everything I can to not call 911. I keep talking to Steven telling him he needs to get up or move. no response. He all of a sudden starts crying hysterically and says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" *a million things ran into my head trying to think of why he was so sorry?!* I kept asking "what?!" because I was so confused! nothing in response. I tell him "Steven I need you to get up so I can take you to the ER, If you cant move then I have to call an ambulance because I can't carry you!" after a VERY delayed response and me repeating myself he says "give me a minute" I tell him I am going to put on Calvin's jammies and If I get back and he cant move I'm calling 911. I get back he's still in the same position. "Steven?!" "call the ambulance" and he starts crying again. I have never seen this kind of cry it was hysterical and almost like a whimper. weird.
With shaky fingers I dial 911. *I get very quiet and almost cant breathe when I'm in a panic* A very nice lady answered and I proceeded to tell her what was going on and she got our information at this point Steven was no longer responsive at all. call the ambulance was the last I heard from him and that was so mumbled he barely got it out. I was trying to stay super calm during this whole thing especially for Calvin's sake. I feel I did a pretty dang good job considering I was freaking out inside and my mind was all over the place. Finally the paramedics arrive and we are all standing in my bedroom as four guys are working on Steven. I've got 2 guys asking me all these questions like is your husband diabetic, did he overdose, is he suicidal? no, No, NO! Of course they have to ask those questions but it doesn't make it any easier on me as it puts all sorts of things in my head! All of his vitals were normal. but they got absolutely NO response from Steven and his body was just limp on the bed. They tap his chest, open his eyes, all sorts of tests. nothing. *I almost hyperventilate at this point, what is going on with my husband?!* They come to no conclusion other than he needs to be taken to the ER. they pack up and as they pull him off the bed I lose it as he literally is like a dead body being picked up. so limp and heavy. The firefighter/paramedic calmed me down assured me he was going to be OK. I grab I don't even know what. Calvin's diaper bag and blanket and rush to the car as they put him in the ambulance. Nothing is worse than driving behind an ambulance with your seemingly dead husband in the back of it. (he wasn't even close to dying but as non responsive as he was that's what it felt like)
We get to the ER I run inside and they get us checked in. and allow us to go into the room where he was. Holding my sweet baby boy in my arms, we walk around the corner in hopes to see a responsive alert father/husband. He looked in so much pain. he was foaming at his mouth a little and cringing clenching his teeth tossing and turning. I immediately turn around facing the nurses desk holding my mouth trying not to let those tears fall down again and so that Calvin wouldn't have to see his daddy in such a state. He calms down and I ask what happened. They tell me "well he had a catheter put in and he didn't seem to like it so we took it out, that's why he was in so much pain, everywhere else we poked, prodded, asked if it hurt he shook his head no." *well duh hes gonna be in pain from a catheter* My sweet sister-in-law arrived just as he was calming down from the pain of the catheter being taken out. I asked her if she could take Calvin home as he was up way past his bedtime and I didn't want him there any longer in case something were to happen. She hangs out a bit before leaving to see if we can get Steven to wake up as he was pretty out of it still. He sort of wakes up and is in and out. still cant move anything though. His nurse's name was Steven, real cool guy, calm and helpful. After Erica and Calvin leave. I sit there in the corner chair staring at my husband my eyes filled with tears wondering if he was ever going to wake up and be normal again. Was my life going to drastically change?! the unknown is scary sometimes. The nurse urges me to hold his hand and talk to him *reminded me of Calvin in the nicu and me seeing him for the first time* I hold his hand and talk to him asking him if he can hear me. kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him. I prayed that Heavenly Father would assure me that he would not take my husband away from me and to help him get better. A few moments later Steven opens his eyes and looks at me and manages to get a teeny smile to me. *I immediately felt comfort, he was going to be OK* I ask him if he can squeeze my hand. I could see him staring at his hand trying to move it, working so hard but nothing happened. my heart sank a little bit. As time went on he had all these tests, MRI, EEG, blood work, and million other things. nothing came back. He slowly gained movement back he squeezed my hand, could move his arms, and lastly he wiggled his toes. Before we knew it he had to pee and stood up to pee in a bottle which was hilarious might I add! The Dr didn't seem to find anything in his tests the only thing is that he thinks he be hypoglycemic. He highly advised, more like ordered us to see a neurologist to follow up and do further testing that they weren't able to. and then we were on our way home. Everyone was convinced he had a seizure, in the family, the Dr's were almost positive that it wasn't one but they cant say for sure.
Not knowing what happened or if it was going to happen again was such a scary feeling. I was so on edge watching Stevens every move constantly asking him if he was OK. *paranoid much?!*
I will continue on to tell you what the conclusion came to in my next post. After meeting with Dr's. and psychologists, the endless questions and concerns. Where was our life going to go now? Today as I write this my hands were shaking and tears filled my eyes as I relive this moment. I hope no one ever has to experience anything like this in their lifetime! It is quite possibly the scariest thing I've dealt with. Stay tuned for PART TWO of the story about what happened after this huge event. along with some catch up posts on holidays, birthdays etc. Thanks for reading and not judging ;)
Much Love,
XOXO
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