2 Down.

Almost 2 weeks down! This past Easter Sunday was a good one. I went to church by myself and was very nervous for some reason. I got there 20 minutes early( which is a miracle) and I just felt so..peaceful I guess is the word. I got the opportunity to read my scriptures while I waited for Sacrament meeting to start. It was such a good Sunday, my heart was filled, and I just felt the spirit so strongly, It was amazing. Afterwards, I get home and get ready to go over to Jake and Jili's place for Easter dinner. We prepared the food to be cooked (well Jake did the meat..while we all chit chatted and watched) and then we started to work on the puzzle they were putting together during finals. My phone rang while Jili and I were sitting there and I didn't recognize it. I almost didn't answer it but thought...maybe its someone interested in the apt. SO I did and I heard "Hey Baby"..totally caught me off guard, It was Steven! tears immediately came to my eyes because I had been waiting ALL week to hear from him. My phone hasn't left my pocket in case he got the opportunity to call. I only got to talk to him for a few minutes, and he stated he hasn't seen his phone since he got to processing the first night. :( sad. But he said he had written me several letters already and that I should be getting them this week. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, but I was just in such shock that I was actually talking to him that I couldn't think of where to start! We ended the day with delicious Pork Tenderloins, potatoes, salad and rolls; Dying easter eggs and going on an easter egg hunt! What a great Sunday.

I went to school every day this week. (including tomorrow) Since that call, Ive had such a good week. It put me in such a good mood every morning. Tuesday night I came home to find the first letter from steven waiting for me in the mailbox! I booked it up our stairs because i was so excited to read his letter :) Then last night I got my second letter from him! With a letter from the Stake President there on base with his picture...Here is my handsome soldier :)

In his letters he writes a lot about how much he misses and loves me and is looking forward to being back home with me. He also says that he called it as far as what the age group is. There is a guy there that is 40! and then a few his age, some "chatty chicks"(as steven worded it) and tons of 18-19 yr olds who screw it up for them because they start talking 2 min after the drill ssgt tells them to be quiet. So they've done lots of push ups and what not for that! The first week he was in processing the whole time. He said tuesday they got a whole of 2 hrs then another night 4 hrs. and then by his second letter he got a full 8 hrs of sleep and then had time to take a nap during one of his days! (lucky) He went into the actual Basic Training on tuesday morning. I havent gotten a letter from him since he has been there yet. From his first two letters, he said that it was alot of hurry up and waiting, and that he needs to get smarter with his meal choices which are chicken, pork, or beef, and not go for what looks best, but which will fill him up the most. They get about 7-10 minutes to shovel down their food. He said hes good now at eating with the fork in his right hand and using just his left hand to get in as much food as he can. hahaha I can only imagine what that looks like! He doesnt sound like he's really having and difficulties yet..then again...i dont know if he will really tell me if hes having a hard time?..hmm. But it is really good to get these letters. He told me in his last letter that he wont stop writing to me because he feels as if in a small way he is with me when he writes to me. Which is so true. I got an email from him easter sunday as well from the church branc he's in. Basically i can write him as many times throughout the week until sat afternoon, and they print out the emails on sunday and hand them to the soldiers at church. So everynight when Ive gotten home from school I write and email to him telling him about my day and what not. Hes write. I feel like I am with him, just telling him about my day and what happened. Its nice ;) So he will expect tons of letters to read on sunday! I'm hoping to hear from him again, but we'll see how that goes....

Today has been the only day this week that has been rough for me. I dont know if its because i finally got to see his face in that picture I got last night. And we were talking about daymakers at school and I shared how I had a rough first week, but every day I went to school, people were so nice to me and were always smiling and giving me hugs, and majority of them didn't even know what was going on in my life. That's one reason why I love my school so much. But I guess I am entitled to have my off days like today. It probably doesnt help that I am tired too. from going to school everyday this week..and getting up early and going to bed late..not a good mixture. But next week will be the same...and I'm doing final phase( a week long class that preps us for our state board exams). Its so crazy to me, that I am almost done! Now lets just pray that steven's check from the army gets deposited on Monday, it would just make everything much simpler! Now that I have written a novel, I hope you enjoyed it and have a wonderful evening!

Tears, Tears and more Tears..

This week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had to go through. Steven left for basic training on Monday morning. Luckily I got to talk to him all day through texts while he was traveling. I receive a phone call later that night from him that lasted maybe 30 seconds. He said "Hey babe" Me: "Hey"(excited to finally talk to him) Steven: "Hey I cant really talk but I'm here, I'm safe and I'll talk to you when I can, I love you" Me: ok, love you (with a shaky starting to cry voice....as he hangs up the phone.) It was soo hard! I have cried almost everyday except maybe one day. It's mainly the nights that are the rough. Ive gone from two years of seeing him everyday and talking to him throughout the day via text, to not seeing him or talking to him at all. No one wakes up with me in the morning and makes me breakfast and lunch while I get ready anymore. Its super weird being alone in our apt. Everyday I'm home alone I keep thinking hes at school and will be home any minute, and then I remember. Its tough. I didn't know what to expect, so this is all just really weird to me. I have my phone on me all the time. I check it more than I should hoping and waiting to hear from Steven. I look at my phone all night long waiting to see Stevens face pop up that he's calling. I'm pathetic. haha

Everyday up until the day he left seemed to fly by. I would wake up every morning and hug and kiss him and think, how is it possible to love someone this much? As the days grew closer and closer to his departure our love grew stronger and stronger for each other. I could feel it. It's amazing, I still ask myself this question everyday. It just amazes me. As I go about my daily routine, I realize how much it sucks not to have him here. Not for the affection every girl needs all the time, but because he was my wife! My house is such a mess!! I started going to day and night school, meaning I'm at school from 9 in the morning until 10 at night. Yes it's brutal, but it keeps me busy and my mind off things. So I'm at school about 50 hours a week. leaving hardly any downtime for myself. meaning theres tons of dishes and laundry to be folded and washed! I need my Steven back :(

As hard as this week has been so far. I already feel stronger. Steven gave me a blessing the night before he left and it was incredible. Since then I haven't missed a prayer morning and night. It truly has helped. A few days after he left I woke up and instead of instantly being sad and depressed, I was fine. Its hard to explain, but I felt loved. I felt warm and good; that everything was ok. I know a lot of friends and family have me in their prayers and I think thats what I'm feeling. I cried that morning not because i was sad but because I'm so fortunate to have such amazing friends and family who care about me so much. I don't know what I would do without my Paul Mitchell Family. Everyone mentioned they cared, or were thinking about me, some even let me cry on their shoulder after trying to hold it in all day. A girls gotta cry! Ive learned that. You can't just hold it in because then it builds up into a huge hysterical cry and its a disaster especially when you need to be sleeping because you have to get up for school. As I go about my day on the verge of a breakdown I think....I could have it worse. At least Steven isn't deathly ill/dead or left me heartbroken. My heart does hurt, but not the same hurt you feel after a breakup. The hurt of not knowing how your loved one is doing. Is he ok? Is he having a hard time? Is he hurt? The hurt of not being with him and talking to him everyday. But I know this is all going to make us both stronger. When steven gets back its going to be like our honeymoon all over again. all giddy and what not.(which is kind of what we normally are like all the time) Gosh I can't wait for that day to come! Only 117 more days!

Yes, Its True.

Yes, it's true; Steven is in the Army.
Yes, it's true; He's leaving in a week.
Yes, it's true; I'm not looking forward to this day AT ALL
Yes, it's true; I graduate soon!

It's getting closer and closer. I hate it and I love it.
I hate it because he will not be with me everyday to enjoy the warm sun of the summer and my freedom from school. But I love it because I get to spend the summer in Cali with my family and when he gets back, we get to start a new chapter in our lives. A life where I work and he goes to school. A life that I can be an actual housewife that cleans the house, does laundry and cooks dinner every night. It's going to be awesome to say the least.

Steven is truly the most amazing husband ever. I am so happy to be married to him for eternity. He supports me in everything I do, and pushes me to reach my dreams. He loves me everyday and makes sure I know that. He serves me 24/7 without any sort of obligation or complaints. Oh the simple things I'm going to miss about him these next four months. His sweet texts saying "Love you so much babes :)". The most amazing omelets and smoothies for breakfast. The way he wakes me up with a kiss on my cheek. His voice rockin out in the car(no matter how off key he is). Snuggling up to him on the couch while we watch a movie. His sweet smile that cheers me up every time. Everything about him will be missed.

Well, here goes to a week of spending time with eachother, friends, and finals for steven. We appreciate the support we have from all of our friends and family and love you all!